


You Never Asked

by ChocolateCoveredCannolis



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: F/M, Other, Season 18 spoilers, Some Explicit Language
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-11
Updated: 2017-02-11
Packaged: 2018-09-23 11:45:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,155
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9656144
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChocolateCoveredCannolis/pseuds/ChocolateCoveredCannolis
Summary: Sonny Carisi was your best your customer, and you just so happened to be in love with him...





	

**Author's Note:**

> Sweet, sweet unrequited love. 
> 
> I think this can be read as any gender, but there may be a few female pronouns?

“Half a dozen cannolis to go please!”

“You mean your usual?” You smiled at the blue eyes looking at you. “Coming right up!” Detective Carisi, though you called him Sonny, had been coming to your bakery for the last two and a half years, and had become your best customer and friend. That’s the only reason you let him in with only minutes to close.

“This for the squad?” You handed him over his order, with an added bag of zeppole.

“Nah, not today. I’ve got myself a date.” He flashed you his signature grin.

Of course he has a date tonight. A man that handsome and kind, you often wondered why he didn’t have a date every night...or why he didn’t date _you_. Snapping yourself out of it, you managed a smile.

“That’s great! I’m sure the cannolis will get you an in, not that you need it!” Sonny chuckled.

“I need all the help I can get!” You raised an eyebrow at him.

“You don’t need any help, detective. Just be your usual charming self, and you’ll be fine.”

“Yeah, yeah,” he grinned. “Thanks for these, Y/N!”

“Bye Sonny!” You waved him out of the shop.

You started closing and cleaning up. Owning the shop got you a healthy discount on the apartment upstairs, and that sure did make it easier to get to work in the morning...so did the prospect of seeing Sonny Carisi.

Sonny had started coming to your shop right after he had been assigned to Manhattan SVU. The shop was only two blocks away from the precinct. In fact, the first time he came in was on his first day. He had this ridiculous 70’s porn ‘stache, and had way too much energy. You didn’t think him ordering something overly sugary was a good idea. The both of you compromised on zeppole, if you weren’t mistaken.

Over the years since then, you had seen his ups and downs, and even lent an ear or shoulder to cry on. Hell, you’d even tried to make things a little bit better with your baked goods. At least you had hoped so. Sonny was there for you too, great guy that he was. It wasn’t hard to fall for the guy, you wondered why people weren’t tripping over themselves to be with him.

You didn’t want to fall in love with Sonny Carisi, but the moment that you did was etched in your memory. It was just over a year ago and Sonny came into the shop, five minutes to close as usual. You greeted him the way you usually did, he responded but his usual sunshine wasn’t there. You had put together his order, and insisted that he sit with you for awhile. You locked up, and prodded him gently about what was going on. It didn’t take much for him to open up to you, talking about a case he had recently wrapped up. It had involved the Department of Child Services, and it had really torn Sonny up. You just sat there and listened to him talk about it, holding his hand. You could see the tears in his eyes, and you pulled him into a hug. It was in that moment you knew you were in love with him. This smart, sensitive, caring, beautiful man was here, in your arms, talking about his lapse of faith in humanity, trusting you with this...it was game over for you.

Yet you had never told him how you felt. He was this amazing detective, and you were just a bakery shop owner--what would he see in you? Sure you had become friends, but that doesn’t mean he felt the same way. You came close to telling him how you felt once, but he actually came into your shop with someone he was clearly dating. It seemed like it was too late and though he had dated other people since, you felt like your moment had passed.

 

* * *

 

Only a few friends of yours knew about your feelings for Sonny. They often urged you to say something about it, but you knew it was too late. It would serve you better to get over it--despite them telling you to get _under_ it. It would be hard, but you knew you could do it. Even though every time he smiled at you, or you saw his twinkling blue eyes, you could feel your heart flutter.

It had been a few days since you’d seen Sonny. It wasn’t unusual, sometimes he had cases that took up several days. Still, you missed the sight of him. You had just texted your friend that. That, and that you were worried about him, even though you shouldn’t be. You were locking up, when you saw him walking towards the door. He wasn’t wearing his usual sharp suit and tie, but sweatpants and a hoodie. His normally well coiffed hair was not quite disheveled, yet not what you were used to. The look on his face reminded you of that night a year ago. What happened to him?

“Oh, you’re closing up. Sorry, I’ll come back tomorrow…” He sounded so dejected.

“Nonsense, come on in!” You ushered him inside. His voice was disheartening. “What’s up, detective?” He chuckled darkly.

“Sonny. Please.” You nodded.

“Well Sonny, I’m closed up here, but I’ve got a stash of cannolis upstairs.” You smiled. “Come on, I’ll make you a cup of coffee too.” He nodded.

You had a slight moment of panic--you had never had Sonny in your apartment and hoped you hadn’t left your laundry all over the floor.

“Don’t mind the mess.” You led him to the couch, putting your keys and phone on the coffee table. You two sat down, placing a hand on his knee.

“You don't look okay...what happened? Are you alright?”

Sonny bit his lip and started crying, looking at his lap. Was it something you had said? You only asked if he was okay--which he clearly was not. You held his hand, stroking patterns with your thumb.

“You know you can tell me…” You wiped away a tear from his cheek.

“I...I almost got shot last month…” A gasp escaped your lips. Someone almost shot Sonny?! No wonder… Sonny kept staring at his lap while he told you all about how he and his Lieutenant  went after a former cop that had kidnapped a woman. How he had gone in an been careful, but apparently not careful enough, and was held at gunpoint--right against his forehead. How he definitely would have been killed, had his Lieutenant not taken him out with her own gun.

Thinking that was the end of it, you squeezed his hand, and were about to say something, but Sonny kept going. He started telling you about how no one had asked him how he was doing with it. No one at all, save the EMS at the scene and his family. Not a single member of the squad had checked up on him. Your heart was breaking as he told you about how he thought he was _finally_ feeling like one of the team--that he was _friends_ with these people, but apparently they didn't view _him_ that way. The whole time he was staring at his lap. When he was finished, you put a hand under his chin, and lifted his face up.

“Sonny, I can’t speak to how others have treated you during this, but if I had known...trust me, you’d be swatting me away with how annoying I’d be.” He managed a small smile.

“Besides, I’d be pestering you with all the cannolis in the world… _shit!_ I almost forgot the cannolis!” You winked at him, which got you a classic Sonny Carisi smile. That warmed your heart right up, and you went to your kitchen.

“Coffee or tea?” You yelled out.

“Coffee, please!”

As you were putting together a plate, you heard your phone go off in the living room. It was only the text tone, though. Nothing you had to worry about at this moment. Taking a second to think about all that Sonny had told you, you couldn’t help but love him a little more. He trusted you with this, and that couldn't just be because you were his cannoli hook-up. You were happy just to be there for him. Isn’t that what friends do? You could be happy just being friends. With the food onto a tray, you went back to the living room.

“I wasn't sure how much cream--”

Sonny was standing up, your phone in his hand. _Shit_. You remembered that your phone automatically displayed messages on locked screens...and that the last texts you sent out were about Sonny. _Shit_. _Shit_. _Shit_.

“How long?” He was holding out your phone. Your legs suddenly felt weak. You set down the tray before you could drop it.

“H-how long, what?”

“How long have you been in love with me?”

“Uhh...I don't know what you mean…” _Fuck_. This was it. This was the end. He started reading the message aloud.

“‘Y/N. Just tell Sonny that you love him. What can you lose? Even if he doesn't feel that way about you, you’ll know and get over it. It breaks my heart to see you going through this.’”

All you could do was stand there, biting your lip, trying not to cry. You knew that once you started crying, you wouldn't be able to stop yourself. You couldn't say anything even if you tried. Reading Sonny’s expressions was hard. He looked like the perfect mix of angry and hurt--unlike anything you had seen before. He cleared his throat.

“How long?” He asked again, his Staten Island accent getting thicker. You stared down at the floor. _Here goes nothing…_

“About a year…” Your voice was barely above a whisper. You kept your eyes glued to the ground. Sonny probably looked pissed, and you couldn't stand to look at him like that. The tears that were brimming were now threatening to leak out. You could see Sonny’s feet walking towards you. You refused to look up.

“Why didn't you tell me?” His voice sounded softer, but you kept your eyes down. Taking a breath, you answered him.

“I...I don't know. I wanted to, but you were dating other people, and honestly, I knew that you wouldn't look at me that way, and that's okay, really. I know I'm not anything special, just a bakery owner, and you’re a detective, why would you date me? I'm just a cannoli hook-up, there's no reason for you to be into me. I tried my hardest to get over it, I really did, I just didn't want to ruin our friendship, because it means so much to me…”

That had done it. The tears were trickling out now. The words just came out, you couldn’t stop yourself. You had hoped you didn't tank your friendship, but there it was, no turning back now…

It was Sonny’s turn to lift your chin up, but you kept your eyes closed. You felt his thumb wiping away your tears, yet he didn't make a sound. You were biting your lip so hard you thought it might start bleeding. Sonny’s arms pulled you into a hug, and that was when you finally opened your eyes to look at up at him. There were tears running down his face.

“Y/N... our friendship means a lot to me too. You’ve been there for me through some of my toughest moments, even though I couldn't think of a reason for you to. Like today...I was walkin’ around aimlessly, and I ended up at your place. I wasn't here for the cannolis, I guess I was here for _you_ …”

The tears started flowing again for both of you. You couldn't believe what you were hearing. But before you could respond, Sonny kept going.

“I can't believe you’ve felt that way for so long, and you didn't say anything to me…”

“You never asked…” It sounded stupid, but it was the truth. Sonny chuckled softly.

“That's true...but I'm askin’ now, Doll. Do you love me?”

You smiled up at him, sniffling.

“I love you, detective.” It felt so good to finally say it, but you had to have an answer too. “Do you love me?” You were still nervous to hear his response. He pulled you in closer and kissed you slowly. It felt even better than anything you could have imagined. He broke away slightly and flashed you that grin you loved so much.

“Does that answer your question?” You grinned right back at him.

  
“Yes, yes it does.” He pulled you in for another kiss. The coffee and cannolis were long forgotten. There would be plenty of time for that in your future, and what a future it would be. 


End file.
